


Help

by WispyWillows11



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Barisi - Freeform, Bi!Barba?, Bi!Carisi, Bisexual Male Character, Cuddling, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Literally just made this cuz i had feels, Love, M/M, Post 18X07, The scene we should have gotten tbh, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, barba/carisi - Freeform, i love them, it's cute, maybe? - Freeform, read it, season 18, so cute, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 16:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11764095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WispyWillows11/pseuds/WispyWillows11
Summary: Legit I just wrote this cuz I wanted to write Barisi fluff and cuz we were robbed of a scene after 18X07. Watch it or look up a description if you haven't seen it.





	Help

A loud knock on the door awakens Barba from a deep sleep. He lets his eyes adjust to the dark room and squints at the digital alarm clock sitting on his night stand. 

"One-thirty in the morning?" he groans in disbelief. He stumbles out of bed, throwing on a nearby t-shirt, and he's just about ready to murder whoever is at his door. 

He looks through the peephole (he does have death threats still hanging over his head, after all) and is surprised to see Carisi at his door. The detective is bouncing on his heels and bites a fingernail; he looks slightly nervous and really scared. 

Barba unlocks his door and pulls it open. Carisi meets Barba's eyes and he looks even worse than Barba had previously thought he did.

"Carisi?" Barba questions, leaning against the doorframe and rubbing his eyes. "Do you have any _idea_ what time it is?"

"Sorry, I don't know what time it is." 

Well, that's weird. 

"What are you doing here?" he presses on. 

"I, uh, needed someone to talk to." 

"About what?" 

Carisi doesn't say anything for a second. His eyes dart from side to side and he looks really upset. Barba notices. "Carisi?" 

"Sorry, I'll go home. This was stupid to come here, I don't know why-" 

"No, you don't have to go home," Barba says, his confused expression changing to a softer one. "You can come in." 

Carisi looks back up at Barba. "Really?" 

"Yes," Barba gives him a small nod and smile. He steps inside and stretches out an arm, signaling to Carisi that he is welcome in his home. "Mi casa es tu casa." 

Carisi walks into the apartment and sits down on the plush couch in Barba's living room. "I thought that it was 'mi casa es su casa". Is that not right?" Carisi asks, running a hand through his hair, which surprisingly, did not look like it had a drop of gel in it. Barba debates whether he should make a joke about Carisi's hair or not. He decides against it; Carisi doesn't need that right now.

Barba sits down in the armchair seated by the couch. "Well, technically they mean the same thing, but you use the word 'su' in a formal setting, like with a boss, or if you're in school, a professor or teacher. You would use 'tu' in an informal setting, with friends and those you're close with." 

"So, I'm a friend?" Carisi gives him a weak smile. 

"Well, I didn't _immediately_ slam the door in your face when you showed up at my home at one-thirty in the morning, so I would say so," Barba smirks.  

Carisi chuckles and it gives Barba a warm feeling in his chest to hear him laugh. "So, what's going on, Carisi? What's got you so worked up?" 

Carisi exhales a deep breath he's been holding for God knows how long. "Well, I assume that you heard about what happened with Tom Cole last week." 

Barba nods. "Liv told me." 

"Yeah, um, well, I'm putting on a brave face, but..." Carisi stops for a brief second before continuing, "I'm not doin' well, counselah." 

Barba's brows knit. "What's going on?" 

Carisi sits back and rubs his sweaty hands on his pants. "A lot. I get flashbacks all the time and... they're so vivid. Whenever I close my eyes, I'm right back in that house with a gun pressed to my forehead. I mean, it's so terrifying. I-it feels like I'm _right_ back there, and I'm _so_ scared. I don't know what t-to do about it and it's gotten worse every night since it happened. I just... don't know what to do." 

Barba's heart drops hearing this. "I'm so sorry, Carisi. That must be awful." He sighs. "You could try to talk to someone about it. I'm sure a therapist would be able to tell you how to deal with this." 

Carisi nods slowly. "I-I guess I could do that. It's just before I find one, I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm goin' crazy, counselah." 

Barba doesn't know if he's going to regret this, but he has to offer. "Well, you can stay here tonight if you want." 

Carisi looks really surprised at the offer. "Oh, no, it's a'right. I don't wanna' put you out or anything." 

"It's no problem," Barba says, shaking his head. "And you're not putting me out; have you seen this place? It's huge." 

Carisi grins. "I was wondering where that cocky attitude went." 

Barba smirked back. "Oh, that'll never go away...which might annoy a lot of people, but hey, what can ya' do?"  

Carisi laughs, louder this time than before. It sounds like a good, old-fashioned Carisi laugh. 

"And besides, I _can_ be serious when I need to be," Barba says. "Sorry I wasn't much help." 

"No, honestly just telling someone what I've been feeling was nice. Just you being there helped." 

Barba gives Carisi another warm smile. "I'm glad, then." 

The two men sit there, a slightly awkward but not entirely terrible silence hanging in the air between them. After it gets a little too awkward for Barba, he rises from the chair and says, "Well, um, I think I'm going to go back to bed if that's okay." 

"Oh, yeah, fa' sure, counselah," Carisi says, giving him a thumbs-up. 

"Y'know, Carisi, seeing as that you are in my apartment at one-thirty in the morning and have now seen my Spider-Man pajama pants, I think it'd be alright if you called me Rafael." 

Carisi gets the biggest grin that Barba has ever seen when he hears this. "Really? Cool, I will, _Rafael._ " 

"No problem, _Sonny_ ," Barba says. He makes a face after saying that. "Does anyone actually call you that?"

"I mean, not really." 

"Well, I'll try it out," Barba says. "No promise to it sticking around, though."  

Carisi laughs. "That's a'right." 

The two smile at each other. "Well, I'm going to head back to bed, then," Barba announces again.

"Yeah, I should try to get some sleep, too." 

Barba turns to return to his room, but Carisi says in a soft voice, "Thank-you, Rafael." 

Barba turns back and sees the look of adoration and sincerity on Carisi's face. He sits there on that couch, looking at Barba like he's his whole world. 

Well, that's how Barba perceives it at least. 

 _Wow, what a narcissist_ , Barba thinks. _He's just thankful he had someone to talk to, calm down._

"Of course, Sonny."

*********************

Barba wakes up again. This time, he awakens from the sound of quiet cries coming from the other room. Barba pushes back the covers and walks into the living room.

Barba picks up his pace when he sees Carisi tossing and turning on the couch, a look of distress on his face. He's crying, actual tears streaming down his face. Barba rushes over and sits beside Carisi, gently shaking him.

"Carisi," Barba says softly, not wanting to scare Carisi when he wakes up. "Hey, wake up. You're having a nightmare."

Carisi's eyes shoot open, his heart racing. His eyes look wild as they dart around the room, not able to focus on anything. Barba takes Carisi's face in his hands and repeats his name over and over again. Carisi is finally able to focus on Barba and he looks a little calmer when he registers him there.

"Barba?" Carisi questions. He reaches up and wraps his fingers around Barba's hand on his face. Carisi squeezes his hand and a soft smile passes onto his features. He sits up. "You're here!"

"Yeah," Barba smiles back. "I am. You were having a nightmare."

"I-I was back in that house, with Tom aiming the gun at my head."

"You're here, Sonny," Barba says, stroking Carisi's cheek. He gently wipes away the tears from Carisi's face. "He can't hurt you. You're alive and you're here. With me."

Sonny looks at Barba. "I'm happy I'm here with you."

Barba's heartbeat quickens at Carisi's words and a fluttery feeling fills his stomach. Shit. He knows what that feeling is.

And he hasn't felt that in a long time.

"Are you okay?"

"Um, I think so. But..."

"What?"

"No, it's nothing."

"Ask."

"Can you stay here with me until I fall asleep?"

Barba is a little surprised, but more than happy to comply. "Of course I can."

Carisi nods his thanks and lies back down on the couch. Before thinking, Barba blurts out, "You can sleep in my bed."

_What the fuck, Rafael? Nice, real subtle._

"What?"

"Um, I mean, if you want you can," Barba reiterates awkwardly. "My bed is a lot nicer than this couch."

"Oh."

"I don't know. It might help you fall asleep quicker and sleep better."

Carisi picks up on why Barba is doing this and he replies, "Yeah. That'd be nice." He's had feelings for Barba for a while now, so he was very pleased with this development.

With both men not saying another word, they walk into Barba's room and slide underneath the covers. The two men awkwardly stare up at the ceiling, not saying a word, until Carisi breaks the silence. "Hey, you know what else would help me fall asleep faster?"

"What?"

"Listening to your heartbeat."

Barba smiles widely (thank God it's pitch-black in here) and says, "Well, if it'll help, I _guess_ you can do that."

Carisi scoots closer to Barba and lays his head on his chest. Barba tentatively wraps his arms around Carisi and smiles again when Carisi sighs contentedly. Carisi listens to the strong, steady beats of Barba's heart, almost instantly calming.

The two lie there, Carisi listening to Barba's heartbeat, Barba trying to keep his heart under control, and everything just feels right. They don't know what this means for them, but that doesn't matter because this is good.

"Goodnight, Raf."

"Goodnight, Sonny.... I'll think I _will_ call you that from now on." 


End file.
